Yesterday I went to the dentist for the first time since Covid-19 started. There were numerous precautions in my dental office other than the copious PPE worn by the staff: my temperature was checked at the door, and my blood pressure was taken in the dental chair. I wore googles and rinsed my mouth with some minty potion before starting.
I had a new hygienist—let’s call her Carrie. Carrie was a no-nonsense hygienist. The first thing she said to me, when I opened my mouth was, “Wow–you have a lot of gum recession.” I told her about my dental hygiene routine: brushing with an electric toothbrush, using a waterpik, and then quickly flossing. Carrie commented, “Yes, I can see that you’re a quick flosser.” Within 2 minutes I felt as if I had accumulated two demerits. There were more comments like this along the way. With a lot of self control, I suppressed a giant eye-roll.
Carrie wanted me to change some of my brushing behavior. I can tell you with certainty that I would have been much more open to her suggestions if she merely started with a positive. She could have pointed out that it’s great that I religiously come every 6 months–even in a pandemic, that I have an established routine every night, that I have healthy, pink gum tissue, or that I have low blood pressure and a low pulse—ANYTHING. The dentist, instead, thought I was doing very well. I left the office knowing that I will NOT see her again.
Starting with the positive leaves people open to what they need to work on. In this pandemic, many of my clients have been eating too many treats or drinking too much. I would love them to tweak some of their behaviors. I tackle this by first reminding them of what they’re doing right: Some are exercising more. Some are cooking more. Some are eating healthy food along with the not-so-healthy food. I feel a shift when I do this—they ease up on their self-deprecation and become more open. To me, this is the best and only way to approach a difficult process.
In this pandemic, we need to hear some positive news and embrace it! I will cling onto my dentist’s message: “Rhonda, you’re doing just great!”