Archive for You/Mind


Many people come to see me wanting to lose weight. (I would love for people to focus, instead, on being healthy, but that’s a topic for another blog.) In most cases, the greatest obvious nutrition obstacle is the time needed to plan, prepare and prep. Even if you’re not cooking a lot, eating healthily still requires having a plan and executing one takes time. My clients and I also talk about the fundamentals needed to be successful, which include:

  • Paying attention to hunger and satiety
  • Drinking a lot of water
  • Trying to eat as many whole foods possible. (Or, trying to eat as little processed food as possible.)
  • Having healthy snacks on hand
  • Watching the amount of unhealthy carbs consumed
  • Moving your body as much as possible

Then, we proceed to the specifics of their life—their lifestyle, their food preferences, their willingness to cook, their family unit, their work, how social they are, and how much time they are willing to dedicate to good nutrition. All of these will factor into creating the right plan for them. Since we are all different, no two plans will be identical.  Once armed with some structure, many people do very well. And many don’t.

If you are stuck and can’t seem to get started, I want you to be curious. Curiosity is a IMG_1275positive!  Unlike self-deprecation, curiosity keeps your mind open. It makes you take a closer look at your behavior, without judgment, so that you can unpack WHY you act (or not) in a certain way. Often times there is a less-obvious obstacle preventing you from achieving your goals. Being curious might uncover something much bigger—something deeper, that you need to address.

A client of mine wanted to lose weight and so we had several discussions and created a plan. When she got stuck, she became curious. And after some painful introspection, she realized that the underlying issue was that she had to  start focusing on her social life (or lack of one). It was much easier for her to zoom in on weight loss—she kept convincing herself that losing weight would be the answer to all of her problems. Once she uncovered this, she was able to address her deep-rooted issue, which was far more important than simply losing some weight.

From my experience, the worst thing that you can do for your mental sanity is to keep starting something, not being able to maintain it, and stopping. This is so damaging and deflating to your sense of well-being. In this blog, I used the example of weight loss but it applies to anything in your life that you keep starting and stopping: exercise, cooking, meditation, making time for yourself, reading more, learning something new, spending more time with loved ones, etc. Instead of yo-yo-ing, take a breath, stop and be curious. Be a detective so that you can uncover the deeper, hidden issue. You will then be better able to tackle your obstacles once and for all!

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I recently went to Boulder, Colorado and while there, I took a restorative yoga class with an incredible instructor, Lara. As the class started, Lara began talking about something that she learned that day about electric cars: She discovered that electric Zdp6sMyoGA.pngcars actually recharge when the accelerator is not being pressed. This means that when the car is going downhill, and decelerating, it is actually recharging. She wanted us to think about this as it pertained to our lives. Since rest is restorative, she wanted to know…….were we decelerating enough?

I sat there feeling as if Lara was speaking directly to me. I came to Boulder feeling broken in every way.  A month prior, I had a bad bike accident. I should have taken time off so that I could rest and recover.  Instead, I chose to ignore all of that just “carried on”, as if nothing happened.  (DENIAL!) Eventually it caught up with me and I re-injured myself hardly doing anything. I hobbled into that yoga studio barely able to walk.

Like most people, I had to learn the hard way before I was ready to make a change. Our bodies are wondrous—they work so hard for us all the time doing things that we all take for granted. Right now, as you read this, your heart is pumping, your lungs are taking in air and removing carbon dioxide, your digestive system is breaking down and absorbing nutrients, hormones are flowing, new red blood cells are being made, your eyes are blinking, your kidneys and liver are detoxing, your white blood cells are fighting off invaders. In return, we owe our bodies good nutrition, water, a lot of movement, and REST so we can recharge.

I preach to my clients about the benefits of rest and yet I did not follow my own advice.  Pushing through pain is never a good thing! So, if you find yourself rushing around, trying to squeeze it all in,  and pushing yourself too much, sooner or later your body will send you a strong message. Mind did. Please don’t make the same mistake I made!

I am currently on a path of embracing deceleration so that I can properly heal and recharge . I want my life more balanced. Maybe you need to recharge, too?



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A few weeks ago, a friend of mine went on vacation and asked me to take care of one of her plants. She loved this plant—it’s called an oxalis (a.k.a. a shamrock). I know this sounds ridiculous, but after one day, I fell in love with this plant!

Her oxalis plant had greenish leaves divided into sections and each section looked like a 3-leaf clover. It also had tiny white flowers. What I love about this plant is that it moves—the leaves respond to light and darkness. In the light, the leaves are open and extended; in the dark, they collapse and fall in. It is so much fun watching this plant in action! You have to check out this video to see what I’m talking about.

I loved watching nature unfold (or fold) right in front of me! The oxalis listens carefully to its environment and responds to it.

We can learn a great lesson from this plant by responding to our internal environment, too: INFORMATION FROM OUR BODIES. We need to rest when we’re tired, eat when we’re hungry (NOT eat when we’re NOT hungry), and drink lots of water to stay hydrated. Moving our bodies will give us energy; stretching will keep us less IMG_1094stiff. So often, we ignore the messages our bodies are telling us. We need to pay attention and respond!

After my friend came back home, I went out and bought my own oxalis. My plant has 3-leaf clovers with deep reddish/maroon leaves and tiny purple flowers. It’s the ultimate slice of nature sitting right in my kitchen.

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The other day I was at my friend Lydia’s house. Lydia is renovating her kitchen and she now has a makeshift kitchen and portable smart oven. I never saw a smart oven so she was telling me all about it as I stood there in awe. When Lydia puts a piece of bread into the download.pngsmart oven,  the oven asks, “Bread?” Lydia says “YES.” The smart oven then asks “light toast or medium?” When she answers, the oven does exactly what she wants.

For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about this oven. The oven asks questions to get specific information so it can produce the optimal results. To me, this oven is smart because it’s being mindful.  I thought, “if only we could have our own self-smart-oven!” Here’s a scenario:

Oven: Hungry?

You: YES

Oven: How hungry on a scale from 1-10?

You, having to think: 2

Oven: Stressed??

You: YES

With a few quick questions, you’ve realized that you’re NOT hungry, you’re just stressed.  Instead of eating, you would be better off going for a walk. Taking this a step further, the self-smart-oven could also assess when you should be eating,  when to rest, what foods will work better for you at certain points during the day, when you should meditate, or when you need to stretch.  It might even let you know when you’re pushing yourself too hard, so you could avoid becoming rundown.

I’m  reluctant to use the word “mindful”, because it’s overused. Instead, think of mindfulness as simply being aware–it’s being connected to your body and listening, which is the best way to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.

Bottom line: Your body gives you so much information all of the time. You need to pay attention to those messages and take a moment to ask yourself some probing questions so you, too, can function optimally.

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In 2003, I became a personal trainer and since then I’ve had the privilege of working with many clients, mostly women. Amazing women. Here are some of my observations:

Most women need close girlfriends in order to stay sane while navigating through life. We download.jpgsupport each other in astounding ways. We enthusiastically cheer each other on; We rally around each other in times of need;  We can express ourselves without judgement; We accept each other’s flaws; We see the true beauty in each other; We are loving and kind; We have tolerance and patience.

All of this changes, when a woman looks at herself. When it comes to body image, diet or exercise, women are overly critical, harsh, self-deprecating, and self-loathing. Women say that they are “BAD” when they don’t eat perfectly. They feel GUILT and SHAME when they can’t seem to get into an eating or exercise routine. A woman’s internal dialogue is brutal. She is mean, judgmental, and intolerant. Ironically, she would never treat her girlfriends this way. Ever.

We women are bombarded with ubiquitous messages every day about our image. There are overt and subliminal messages about how we should age, what we should wear, and what our bodies should look like. It is impossible to live up to these standards—especially when there is photoshop erasing our wrinkles and eradicating our cellulite. No wonder we are so harsh on ourselves!

I say: Let’s stop the insanity! When it comes to looking internally,  we need start treating ourselves just the way we would treat our closest girlfriends.  If we do this, we will talk to ourselves with kindness and compassion. We will be more tolerant and less judgmental. We might even start cheerleading. Best of all, we can work hard at achieving (wait for it), ACCEPTANCE.

Who’s with me????


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There is a new show out on Hulu called “Shrill”. I binged watched Shrill and loved it. MV5BNTAyNDk3MzQzN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzg5MjI0NzM@._V1_The protagonist, Annie, is an overweight woman in her early 30’s and keeps getting either unsolicited advice or nasty comments about her body. There is even a scene in Shrill where a personal trainer assures Annie that “there is small person in there dying to come out.” Annie, of course, did not ask the trainer for her advice.

I would love to say that this is all a bunch of fiction, but it’s not. Fat shaming is a real phenomenon and I hate it. I hate it because it’s mean and unproductive. If fat shaming actually worked, there would not be an obesity epidemic. Two days before seeing Shrill, I met a lovely, overweight, nurse’s assistant. She told me horrible stories of insensitive trainers at her gym—they all had something to say about her body. Just like Annie in Shrill, she never asked them for help. (WHAT’S WITH THESE TRAINERS????!!!)

We all make quick assessments about people, when seeing them for the first time. However, before making a set-in-stone-judgement, we need to pause. We have no idea about this person’s history, background, or experiences. One small “innocent” comment can not only be hurtful but destructive.

The bottom line: Whether someone is too thin, too fat, too tall, too short, or too WHATEVER, we have no business commenting on their bodies. As my mom taught me growing up : “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  Amen, Mom!



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Yesterday morning, at 9 am, I got a text from a client. I haven’t seen her in several weeks because she was busy traveling for work. Traveling is very difficult—there might be a time change affecting sleep, there is usually a lot of eating out, and there might be lack of exercise. My client was clearly feeling frazzled. Her text said something like this: “I need to get my food back to together again. If you have time can you look at these two restaurants that I’ll be going to and tell me what to order.” I bet many of you can relate to this. She wanted me to pick something healthy for her so she didn’t have to think about it. While I understand her motivation, this made no sense to me.

Eating healthy isn’t only about calories, fat or carbs. It’s about satisfaction and woman-not-happy-dieting1enjoyment. If you leave these two elements out, you will get into trouble. You will eventually search for something that DOES satisfy you and after a healthy meal or even after a full day of healthy eating, you might seek the “forbidden” foods. I wanted my client to pick something that SHE was in the mood for and so I sent her the following text back:

“Ok……I looked at all the menus and there are PLENTY of great things that you can eat at both places. You certainly don’t need me to choose for you because I actually want you to eat food that YOU want!  I want you to enjoy it and feel satisfied and not feel ‘ICK…….I had the fish that I don’t even like because Rhonda told me to.’ You know what to avoid: fried food, dishes full of heavy sauces or giant portions. But if you’re in the mood for steak, I’d much rather you eat steak instead of chicken that you don’t even enjoy. Life is too short!”

She wrote back:  “You’re right!”

We have been so conditioned that certain foods are evil. So many of us not only classify foods as “good” or “bad” but we actually tell ourselves that we were “bad” when we ate a plate of pasta or a piece of bread. We spend so much time obsessing about healthy food, and worrying (and feeling guilty!) about eating the wrong food. In doing so, we are missing out on enjoyment and satisfaction. We don’t even think about what we feel like eating and have lost our ability to be intuitive about food.

I would love to see all of us stop this insanity. Let’s try to erase the notion that there are “forbidden” foods and incorporate them into our lives in moderation. This way, we can stop going on diets (that don’t work)  and can ditch the diet mentality, which is all about restriction.

I have been a trainer for over 15 years and a nutritionist for almost 8 years and I can say with certainty that I have never seen restriction yielding any positive results. We need the satisfaction and enjoyment to be truly healthy!

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